99 things about me

1. I love a good beer on a summer’s eve.
   
2. I give false names to juice stands.
   
3. I sometimes forget that I gave them a false name.
   
4. I love to draw.
   
5. But I find painting an entirely different kettle of fish.
   
6. I also do not understand the phrase ‘Kettle of fish’.
   
7. My favourite colour is Prussian blue.
   
8. I’ve always wanted to live in London.
   
9. I’ve always wanted to explore Japan.
   
10. I get very talkative and mightily pretentious when drunk.
    
11. With food, given the opportunity I’ll always try something new.
    
12. This has not always worked out well.
    
13. I like to write.
    
14. I try to read every day.
    
15. The book that started my love of reading was The Day of the Triffids.
    
16. I have an immense fear of reading a popular book at the time of it being popular.
    
17. As a result I audiobooked my way through Harry Potter.
    
18. I’ve only ever confessed that to my wife.
    
19. Audiobooks are commonplace on our long weekend road trips down the coast.
    
20. I enjoy a good film.
    
21. Especially a good zombie film.
    
22. If I had to choose one, it’d be ‘The Night of the Living Dead’ (1968).
    
23. Which changed what I had thought about zombie films.
    
24. I often receive extremely odd presents from my parents.
    
25. For my 24th birthday I was given a book on dragons that would have made my much younger self very happy.
    
26. I stared at it quizzically for a good 15 minutes trying to figure out what the joke was.
    
27. There was no joke.
    
28. I try to keep fit,
    
29. but, occasionally, apathy gets the best of me.
    
30. I didn’t try very hard at school and, as a result, didn’t go very well (kids, let that be a lesson to you).
    
31. I travel to Southeast Asia almost annually and always find something new.
    
32. My favourite city is Luang Prabang (Laos) followed closely by Melbourne.
    
33. I genuinely like my parents in law (I hear that I’m lucky).
    
34. I always forget to speak like a pirate on ‘Speak like a pirate’ day,
    
35. and so my ‘Arghhh’s and ‘Me-hearties!’ often come a few days later.
    
36. I dislike the word ‘hate’.
    
37. If I could have one super power it would be telekinesis. Yeah, telekinesis is awesome.
    
38. I fleetingly considered arson as a way of getting a better view of the beach from the balcony (shrubs, not houses).
    
39. I hold a grudge against my neighbours but can scarcely remember why.
    
40. I tell my wife I’m keeping a stash of eggs to throw at their house.
    
41. Nearly all my socks have holes, but I’m scared if I throw them out I’ll have to go sockless to work.
    
42. I laugh at my own jokes.
    
43. I think vertigo is a fascinating phenomenon.
    
44. I worry what digital distribution will do to the book industry and emerging writers.
    
45. I could eat Bacon and egg rolls for breakfast lunch and dinner.
    
46. I can play ‘when the saints go marching in’ on the piano.
    
47. I measure mine, and others, skill according to how fast they can play it.
    
48. As a kid I thought clouds came from chimneys.
    
49. But I never believed that the moon was made of cheese – that’s ridiculous!
    
50. My father loved to teach and as a kid I learnt a lot.
    
51. I love lollies.
    
52. Especially snakes.
    
53. I met my wife when we were kids.
    
54. And we didn’t really like each other and lost contact.
    
55. Meeting again, conveniently, after my awkward teenage years.
    
56. I have no preference for cats or dogs.
    
57. Although we once owned a cat named Miette.
    
58. I’m terrible at remembering street names.
    
59. As a result I navigate with a series of “Left, 2nd left, right, and then right again”.
    
60. I find my wife very cute when she’s cranky.
    
61. This sometimes makes things worse.
    
62. I have a wealth of useless tidbits of knowledge,
    
63. Which makes me a formidable trivia partner.
    
64. I like to explore in my lunch breaks.
    
65. I sometimes get lost on purpose.
    
66. I shared a room with my brother as kids, which was divided by a line of masking tape. Anything that fell on his side of the room automatically belonged to him.
    
67. I lost a lot of cool toys.
    
68. I once shaved my sisters Barbie and painted it silver,
    
69. I had just seen the move Robocop.
    
70. Good coffee is important to me.
    
71. When eating out, I often spend more on wine than my meal.
    
72. I have recently developed a taste for Sake.
    
73. My favourite director is Jean-Pierre Jeunet.
    
74. I distinctly remember the moment I realised my parents were just human beings, flawed just like me.
    
75. I love scrabble.
    
76. My favourite painting is van Gogh’s Starry Night.
    
77. The closest my wife and I have ever come to divorce was when I agreed to help her with a spray-on tan.
    
78. Apparently you don’t tan the palms of hands or the soles of feet.
    
79. My hotmail account’s secret question is “who is my best childhood friend”,
    
80. I’m still trying to figure out what the answer is.
    
81. I make an awesome bean nachos but have otherwise unimpressive culinary skills.
    
82. I’m often last to go to sleep and first to wake.
    
83. I like to understand how things work.
    
84. I’m a terrible poker player – I always get excited when I have good cards.
    
85. I drink 3 litres of water a day.
    
86. I need a list if I’m shopping for more than 3 items,
    
87. As I get distracted by all the DVDs and lollies in aisle 3.
    
88. I always look to see what people are looking at in internet cafes.
    
89. I’ve been gathering a collection of Dad-Jokes for use if, or when, I become a father,
    
90. A well used example is “I went camping last week – It was intense”.
    
91. I always check the DVD bargain bins in the hopes I’ll find something good among the trashy 80s horror.
    
92. And sometime the ‘something good’ IS trashy 80s horror.
    
93. I don’t particularly want to skydive.
    
94. My music tastes is eclectic. Everything from Bach to Beck with some Jeff Buckley thrown in for good measure.
    
95. I spend the equivalent of 43 days each year on a train.
    
96. I love passionfruit.
    
97. My first job was as a kitchen hand for a sadomasochistic Italian chef - I lasted two years before being fired for going away on my scheduled weekend off and not being available when he called. I was offered my job back two weeks later.
    
98. I once had an imaginary friend named Nigel Peter.
    
99. I found this list harder than I thought it would be.